1. “Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.”
2. “Funny is only something that others know about you – you can’t be funny by yourself”
3. “You don’t need a critic to tell you people aren’t laughing.”
4. “Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it’s about having a lot of options.”
5. “A man is only as faithful as his options.”
6. “Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.”
7. “With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.”
8. “You can only offend me if you mean something to me.”
9. “There are only three things that women need in life: food, water and compliments.”
10. “When you meet somebody for the first time, you’re not meeting them. You’re meeting their representative.”
11. “You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.”
12. “Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.”
13. “You don’t pay taxes – they take taxes.”
14. “Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.”
15. “Listen to people that are smarter than you.”
