1. “The difficult with marriage is that we fall in love with personality, but must live with a character.”
2. “We pay for security with boredom, for adventure with bother.”
3. “If there’s anything I hate it’s the word humorist – I feel like countering with the word seriousist.”
4. “People rarely do what they don’t want to.”
5. “Everybody hates me because I’m so universally liked.”
6. “Exercise is an unnatural act.”
7. “Before the mind snaps or the heart breaks, it gather itself like a clock about to strike. It might eve be said one pulls himself together to disintegrate.”
8. “When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims of intact ones.”
9. “Words fashioned with somewhat over precise diction are like shapes turned out by a cookie cutter.”
10. “What people believe is a measure of what they suffer.”
11. “The satirist shoots to ill while the humorist rings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.”
12. “We know the human brain is a device to keep the ears from grating on one another.”
13. “Celibacy is the orst form of self-abuse.”
14. “Pain is the question mark turned like a fish hook in the human heart.”
15. “We are not primarily put on this earth to see through one another, but to see one another through.”
16. “The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults.”
17. “The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds – they mature slowly.”
18. “Life is a zoo in a jungle.”
19. “Thee are times when breakfast seems the one thing worth getting up for.”
20. “Love’s blindness consists oftener in seeing what is not there than in seeing what is.”
21. “Murals in restaurants are on a par with the food in museums”
22. “There are times when parenthood seems nothing more than feeding the han that bites you.”
23. “The trouble with treating people as equals is that the first thing you know they may be doing the same thing to you.”
24. “Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us.”
25. “The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination. But the combination is locked up in the safe.”
