1. “I do situations and make fun of authority and life.”
2. “Some people called me a legend and the last of the greats and I appreciate it.”
3. “It’s very sweet to have people say nice things about you, and I always accept that.”
4. “Showbiz is great if you’re successful.”
5. “Half the battle is that people have to like you before you say one joke, one bit of humor.”
6. “I’m very shy so I became very outgoing to protect my shyness .”
7. “I cannot tell a joke. but I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.”
8. “My main success was an attitude. Always an attitude.”
9. “Struggling is hard because you never know what’s at the end of the tunnel.”
10. “I don’t feel an obligation to give everyone a hard time, but when they’re important people, it’s fun.”
11. “Whatever you do to gain success, you hae to hang in there and hope good things happen. Always think positive.”
12. “Everything I do on stage, I made up in saloons. I started doing it in front of people, and that became my performance. I never had writers.”
13. “When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can’t please everyone. But when you’re different, you can last.”
14. “Some people say funny things – but I say things funny.”
15. “You know what funny to me? Attitude.”
16. “If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn’t be funny.”
17. “You lose energy, you lose that excitement and it gets the audience up.”
18. “You’ve got to be able to sell yourself.”
19. “Everything I’ve ever done in my whole career, people might not know, I’ve never written anything down on paper.”
20. “You throw your best punch, otherwise don’t do it.”
21. “It takes many years to be a great comedian.”
22. “I don’t do impressions.”
23. “People think being in your seventies means sitting around in a chair with a blanket over your legs, drooling.”
24. “To me, the stand up part in my life is great. I know I can do that. When I get an acting chance, I’m really thrilled.”
25. “My whole act is off the top of my head.”
26. “There’s a difference between an actual insult and a friendly jab. So I don’t think I’m offensive onstage.”
27. “I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He’d just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.”
28. “Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.”
29. “Asians are nice people, but they burn a lot of shirts.”
30. “I don’t like to compare myself with anybody.”
