1. “I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches.”
2. “My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, he bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.”
3. “If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.”
4. “He looks as though he’s been weaned on a pickle.”
5. “You can’t make a souffle rise twice.”
6. “My speciality is detached malevolence.”
7. “Never trust a man who combs his hair from his left armpit.”
8. “People in Washington seem as hypnotized by precedence as though they were hens with their beaks on a chalk line.”
9. “I valued my independence from an early age and was always something of a individualist… Well, a show-off anyway.”
10. “I’ve always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.”
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