1. “You can make a new friend but you can’t make an old one.”
2. “I originated my own cliches, but I’m, finding that’s not working for me anymore.”
3. “Thirty-two is the age we turn into adults.”
4. “They say person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do something to hope for.”
5. “Mine is not a story to tell struggling writers.”
6. “The difference between an optimist and a pessimist? An optimist laughs to forget, but a pessimist forgets to laugh.”
7. “In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.”
8. “I’m not am impersonator. I’ve only got one voice and only do one guy and his first-person essays.”
9. “I come from very common stock and I’ve always been uncomfortable with pretension and all the forms it can take, including disingenuous broadcasting.”
10. “Did you ever notice that nobody you see on television looks like anyone you know?”
