1. “Humility is no substitute for good personality.”
2. “Life is so absurd now that it is almost impossible to be a satirist in this era.”
3. “Human nature is not that great. That’s why they call it human nature and not human heart.”
4. “A book is supposed to be a mirror. It’s supposed to be a door.”
5. “The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.”
6. “Think before you speak. Read before you think.”
7. “Sleep is death without the respnsibility.”
8. “If people don’t hold grudges, it means hey just don’t care what others do.”
9. “Life is something that happens hen you can’t get to sleep.”
10. “Reading is better than life. Without reading, you’re stuck with life.”
11. “There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness and death.”
12. “Food is an important part of a balanced diet.”
13. “You’re only good as your last haircut.”
14. “The downfall of most diets is that they restrict your intake of food.”
15. “I believe in talking behind peoples’ backs. That way, they hear it more than once.”
